Trying to decide if I should foster my hatred for you or stop denying that I actually do like you.

He smiles. It hurts. I know that smile will never be for me.

He laughs. My heart beats a little faster. His will never beat for mine.

It’s one of those sad nights again; those nights you feel so lonely. You realize that there’s still a gaping hole inside of you. Something’s missing…he’s missing. Your heart’s crushed.

I thought I didn’t like him anymore. I used to…but for a moment it went away. Maybe after all this time, it’s always been there. Maybe I just ignored it because I know nothing good will ever come out of it. I know I’ve never had a chance. Tonight’s the same. I’ll never have a chance.

I saw him enter. I pretended not to notice him. I wanted him to notice me. He smiled, I smiled. His smile lingers on my mind. I steal glances. I wish he stole glances back. He smiles at someone else. I imagine it was me. His smile bores through me. It melts my heart. Pain shoots through a heavy breath. I sigh. I look away. I’m ashamed. It will never happen.

I remember fragments of a song I heard earlier. I imagine it play. I’m an angel with a shotgun. I wait for signs. They never come. It hurts me more. I wait more. I wait even some more. Nothing comes. I decide to leave. It will never happen.

-miaria:

RYAN FUCKING GOSLING.

My reaction?